FEEDBACK (can you take it , well???)

I remember going to the gym when i was 16. I had started to gain weight and my Mother had suggested that i start attending the gym ASAP. So one day i came back from the Gym and i got into the house and greeted my parents and siblings. I went into my room , changed and got into my home clothes. Being the only girl child it was my responsibility to oversee the cooking. So i went into the kitchen as soon as i was settled, suddenly my mother calls me and tells me that she thinks my feet are smelling. TJO!!! She did not expect what was coming i completely ignored her and did not have anything to say to her and walked away. I did not see that coming and thought she was just gunning at me for no reason. I could not believe she had said that to me, it did not help that my Dad supported her in this. I felt so humiliated , my siblings were right there to witness it.

Who wants to be told that their feet stink, ha??? Who wants to be told that they can improve in the way they kiss their love one??? Who wants to be told that they do not have a pleasant breath coming out of their mouth?? Who wants to be told that they are not delivering on their outputs at work???

Wasn’t that feedback though??? This happened exactly 14years ago and the word feedback did not exist in my vocabulary back then, but it was feedback. It was my parents sitting me down and letting me know that there are precautions i could take to ensure that after gym i take care of my feet . When i look back i can only blame it on the teenage hormones…lol. That was definitely a silly moment.

Feedback is feedback it doesn’t matter if it’s personal or not. It should not be restricted in the board room at work or have boundaries at all. I am not ashamed to talk about it now because i realise that i was not in a good space to receive the feedback. I was attending GYM to lose weight and now my parents are suddenly telling me i have feet issues..like seriously. WTH??? Over the years i  have grown and i receive feedback all the time so i am being taught by different experiences.

I am hoping that whoever is reading this is not 16. There is no excuse to not be able to take feedback especially if you want to grow. Kenneth Blanchard once said “feedback is the breakfast of champions”. Of course it’s not a feel good moment when someone sits you down and tells you that you are not doing a good job. It sucks, but you have to gradually learn to take it with a pinch of salt. You can’t learn or master taking or giving feedback. Which ever side of the fence you are on, it is never a pleasant thing to go through. It is one of those things that just have to be done.

I personally know people who are in Managerial positions who will avoid giving feedback like it’s a plague. By not giving feedback you are enabling someone to continue in their lack of delivery and self development. By not acknowledging and receiving feedback well you stop yourself from looking at the situation as it is and allowing yourself to develop. After all you know yourself better than anyone. If you are not performing you are not. With feedback you are giving an opportunity to either come clean and draw up an action plan and move forward.

Even relationships need feedback and actions plans. It may sound technical…lol..It is all in the execution ..If your man is not taking you out to dinner as often as you would like. Don’t lie about it and go and seek for that treatment somewhere else. Give him the feedback. Maybe he is distracted and has a lot on his plate…you won’t know until you sit down and have that discussion.

Here’s how you can gradually learn to take feedback.

1. It is not personal. Stop being insecure.

2. Listen to the feedback. Separate whatever relationship you have with the person and purely focus on the areas of improvement that this situation is giving you.

3. Look on the bright side. If it is from a loved one they only want what’s best for you. If it is your Manager , at least they are not firing you.

4. Always have your attitude in check where feedback is concerned. Make it about you,not the person giving it to you.

5. Growth comes in different forms , so why should feedback be any different.

6. Lastly ARE YOU A CHAMPION??? If you are then feedback should be your breakfast…FEED ON IT and move on.

ALL THE BEST