#Friendship101

This morning’s Blog post is inspired by my friend Manti. I know this friend of mine very well and the chances of her reading this Blog Post are very slim. I am sure her excuse will be “but my friend you know I am not a social media person.

About 3 years ago I entered a Presenter Search Competition by Etv (a Broadcasting Channel in South Africa). One of the requirements for the Competition was that each contestant had to get as many hits as possible on Youtube. I recruited my niece to shoot the video for me.

I literally would send the link for my entry to all my friends and family to view so that I could get as many hits as possible. Manti called me one day to ask me how many times she can access the link and I told her as many she could. She went as far as sharing the link with others.

In life there are friends who will make an extra effort to be supportive. She could have been busy and took time to just view the link and also share it.

You will get friends who may not even drive to the audition with you but they will buy the outfit you need for an audition. Don’t say she couldn’t go with me to my audition but she bought me this dress” . Friends who are spoilt and ungrateful are not pleasant to be around. You could have a great personality but if your attitude stinks you could lose some friends.

2. Advice. As friends you are bound to share everything. Relationship advice is very tricky and the best way to approach is with honesty, maturity and sensitivity. How you tell a friend her man is not the one for her etc can make or break your friendship. It’s never advisable to share sensitive advice on social media like FB chat, whatsapp or text. Drive over or meet your friend for lunch then take it from there

3. Sharing clothes My friends and I are big girls but we don’t have the same style and taste in clothes but once in a while I might sleep over at a friend’s place etc. Making your friend’s closet your shopping space is not cool. Don’t lie and say you need something it will be back in 2 days when you know you have no intention of returning it. That is just not cool friendship etiquette. It’s fun to have girlfriends who are your size but do your best not become a pest by constantly taking things and not returning them

4. Maturity I remember how upset I was when I found out someone I thought of as a friend was pregnant and she did not tell me. I think in the African culture a couple’s baby coming is very sensitive and I have heard how couples are discouraged from sharing the news till a baby is past 3 months or so. I did not say anything to her then one day just after the baby was born she sent me a message to tell me of the baby’s arrival. I found that behaviour strange but I took a step back and realized this was not about me. Sometimes our friends will make decisions without seeking our advice. Sometimes you may not be as close as you assumed or perhaps it was a family decision she could not go against. With age comes wisdom and so you learn to pick your battles. Instead of saying why wasn’t I told or why am I the last one to know rather opt for “Congratulations, I am sure It’s exciting” and let it go.

5. Live for the moments Sometimes we get so busy with work we postpone almost everything. In the midst of the chaos always make time for friends by being there for them ie baby showers, graduations, funerals and sometimes just going to church together even if it’s not your own or stopping by at their office to say hi. The beautiful moments are more precious than the gifts and money.

#Friendship101