Is mentorship earned??

Mentorship is one of those things everyone talks about, but few people know how to approach. In 2025 it is still a conversation that comes up in many events that I attend as well as online platforms. As women, as moms, as entrepreneurs, we often wonder: “Should I ask someone to mentor me? Am I ready?

Sheryl Sandberg once said something that stuck with me:

“We need to stop telling [women], ‘Get a mentor and you will excel.’ Instead, we need to tell them, ‘Excel and you will get a mentor.’

At first, that might sound intimidating. But when you unpack it, there’s wisdom there:

1. Visibility Precedes Opportunity

Mentorship doesn’t appear out of thin air. People mentor those they notice — those who show initiative, resilience, creativity, and consistency. If you want someone to invest their time in you, first show them the energy, focus, and drive you bring. Let your work, your ideas, and your leadership shine.

2. Hard Work Isn’t Just About Hours

It’s not just about putting in long hours or grinding endlessly. It’s about purposeful effort: doing the things that matter, showing up for others, solving problems, asking thoughtful questions, and pushing your own boundaries. When you operate at that level, the right mentors naturally see your potential.

3. Mentorship Can Come From Unexpected Places

Sometimes, the person who ends up mentoring you isn’t the obvious “big name” in your industry. It could be:

• a peer with a skill you admire

• a former colleague who knows your work ethic

• someone you’ve collaborated with on a project

• even someone younger, whose perspective shifts how you see the world

The point is: mentorship is a relationship, not a title. And those relationships often start because someone noticed your effort, your curiosity, your courage.

4. Work Hard AND Invite Connection

While Sandberg emphasizes being noticed, that doesn’t mean you sit in silence hoping someone sees you. You can:

• seek feedback from trusted people

• offer collaboration first — show value

• be visible in ways that align with your goals

• share your aspirations without demanding guidance

In short, you demonstrate readiness and openness, and mentorship follows organically.

5. A Gentle Reminder

Mentorship is a gift, not an entitlement. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t create the conditions for it. Work with intention, show up consistently, and let people see the woman you’re becoming. When that happens, doors open — often in ways you never imagined. Mentorship is about becoming someone worth investing in. Do the work. Show your brilliance. Embrace growth. And watch how the right guidance finds you.