Love a smart woman???

I am black, young, born and raised in Africa and I am successful. I love writing, reading inspirational books (including the Bible), I love my wine now and again only in the comfort of friends , family and of course my own company. I am a sucker for African success stories that build our communities and inspire others. I am highly opinionated when it comes to women empowerment, child welfare and above all personal development. I love jewelry and good shoes and I have a passion for fashion. Those are things I like but none of them define who I am, they simply define what interests me. I Being the awesome person I am why am I single?

Before I answer that question I want to share with you what my friends and family often say to me when they hear I am single. You are beautiful and an amazing person and any man will be lucky to have you, maybe you just need to lower your standards a little” or let’s see your check list. This check list is apparently not a good thing and I should throw it away. One of my friends even went on to say, “friend just give any guy a shot, you’ll never know”. Thank heavens for the delete or ignore button I have created for myself because that comment went straight into the deleted selection. Who wants to settle for anything or anyone?

There is no one who does not have a check list. That is a LIE and men need to stop feeding women with this nonsense in order to get us to lower our expectations and increase your chances of being dateable. Other women need to start standing by other women and showing them support especially if their expectations are reasonable. If you are a man I am sure you want to date someone with a good value system, someone principled, someone family orientated and someone you simply have a chemistry with? Is that not a check list? If the girl does not meet the standards, what happens to her?

I was watching Being Mary Jane the other day and I just recollected an episode that I love and I know truly resonates with me and most of my friends. MJ (as we call her) was asking her father why she is single? She has a good job, a great career and is super hot by the way and judging from her character she is good in bed too..lol (yep I said it).why was MJ’s character created so harshly? The brutal truth is MJ sometimes appears to be angry. Are all single, black and successful women angry, bitchy or mean. Word on the street is we don’t get enough sex. I hear that so often especially from both men and women. If a woman is single and she comes across as mean it’s because she is not getting “some” and judging from this I suppose sex is the answer then..

The other truth is some men are cowards and cannot handle the package that is a modern woman who is conscious of her power and most importantly her rights. Very few men appreciate intelligent women and if they do this intelligent needs to have it’s place and time. Saying I want a girl who is intelligent is the trend nowadays but how many men can handle that this person is her own and she can speak for herself. Suddenly when that intelligence comes with a partner who is travelling and getting promotions at work it is now an issue. Kanjani?

I am single because I am waiting for the right man who is compatible for me and definitely God sent. Bayangishela (that means guys do ask me out) but once I start talking about the challenges my business is facing or my initiatives I am working on they run. They never ask “what can I do to help” or what do you need to achieve and what is the plan”. I don’t hear such questions. Instead what I get is “I am busy” or I am out of town and months and months go by with this brother being busy….

I am single because I have a dream that keeps me awake at night. I have 7 siblings looking up to me. I have young women who from time to time depend on me. Am I too busy chasing a dream? NOPE!! I am busy realizing a dream. A dream that is my responsibility however what would be nice is some support from my man. I am not asking you to fund my business, if you want to, I won’t say no and that does not make me a gold digger. I am asking for you to call once in a while and ask how I am doing. I am asking you to come over with pizza and some Hunter’s Dry and save me from myself. Sometimes I am so busy stressing I am not even aware I am stressing.

I am asking you to just text and tell me you are thinking of me and you hope my pitch with a potential client goes well. I am asking you to just follow my Blog or at least read it and let’s chat about your views and mine. Surely you can handle my honest opinion that is different from yours.There are some men who seem to think money is what attracts us and money is what makes us stay. It is good if you are monied up but if you are not there is more you can give you a woman. So our brothers prefer it when they are the ones with money and the titles.

Dear brothers. If only you knew how much we love and appreciate you. We get you. We get how tough life is and how many of you had to find your own way because your fathers were not around. Mine too was not around. So instead of you looking at me as a threat and calling me names and telling me where I belong and where I don’t, why can’t you leave me and just appreciate me?

If we are angry so what? Angry people act and passive people sit by. Would you rather be with someone passive and relaxed rather a woman who is angry that there are not enough jobs and she is doing something to change that. A woman who is tired of young women in her community being raped and taken advantage of and is deciding to do something about it. A woman who is not just sitting by and not letting life pass her by. A woman who is her own.

If you cannot handle a successful woman, you are clearly not successful yourself. You have not come to realize your own power and strength. You have never been challenged before and the thought of being with someone who knows herself scares you.Success takes self leadership and if your home team is successful that is good ground to be on.. Your choice!!! Next time you see a single successful woman don’t be intimidated by her. Admire her and rise up to the occasion and be worthy to stand beside her, not behind her.