The value of great FRIENDSHIPS

Am I the only one who thinks the name or title “friend” has either become overated if not abused by people. Genuine and honestly caring folks are hard to find nowadays.Last week Sunday I had the pleasure of meeting amazing women from my country Zim who are based in SA and doing phenomenal things with their brands. We had a productive meeting and I guess because of the connection we had we stayed at the restaurant just a bit longer and started chatting about love, dating and friendships among women.

It was interesting how the lady who had organised this meeting was sharing how she does not do friends. She was unapologetic and honest to say she learnt a long time ago who to trust and who the hell to stay from. She literally has no girlfriends not even one. Based on my experience there is no woman who’s never been burnt by a close friend.

This conversation got me thinking. Have we somehow forgotten the principles of what friendships are built upon? Have we become bad judge of characters that we find ourselves surrounded by unhealthy relationships? Do we choose this drama or does it choose us?

So how about we look at those friendship basics again.

1. Genuine friends arequest honest. The truth hurts especially when it is coming from a loved one but i prefer an honest friend that a deceitful one. Do not ask your friends to be honest when you cannot handle the truth yourself..

2. Good friends who intend on sticking around adapt to change or an environment. There is nothing that is such a turn off like having a friend who behaves like a spoilt brat. You plan a date and they won’t take one for the team and be a sport. Instead they want things done their way. Boo hoo..who needs such friends?

3. Good friends are trustworthy.You cannot afford to call every woman that calls on you and chats with you at work a friend. There is a reason why people have to earn their stripes in our lives. Even at a Fashion Show front row tickets are for a selected and specific few. Who are you giving front row access to your life?

4. Good friends are supportive. I once had a friend who wanted to do everything I was doing. In my conversations with her she never mentioned that she was interested in Entrepreneurship. Now that I had started my own business she suddenly also had hers. As soon as I was creating my own series of events she did the same.She never acknowledged the milestones I was taking or supported me but instead she was watching me so she could gain some insights on how to get started. I know I sound crazy for saying that but at the time and in hindsight that is what it was. Ladies you know that friend who wants the same pair of shoes as yours.She wants the same car. She wants what you have.

5. Good friends want to see you develop and grow. They are in your life to be able to guide you and play the role of a reliable sounding board when you need them.

6.Friends accept you for who you are. Most women only experience this only when they fully discover and accept who they are. Friends should not be trying to change you whether your short comings are annoying or challenging.

7. Lastly but not least the cardinal rule of friendship though shalt be kind to yourself. If the friendship is not working it is not. If it has run its course it has. Everyone comes in our lives for a reason or a season.

I hope every now and again you access your life and assert what is really key in your personal development especially spiritually and mentally. Bad relationships can be exhausting. So instead of trying to please everyone including some of our friends how about you love yourself enough to put yourself first as well. Before you say yes to anyone or anything say yes to YOU first.